How to Lift the Stress Out of Your Morning: 7 Quick Tips

How to Lift the Stress Out of Your Morning: 7 Quick Tips

Great tips to start your day like:

1. Getting a good night sleep.
2. Planning the night before.
3. Packing your bag and you lunch the night before.

Enjoy!

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Graceful Planning

Borders Books

This week in Borders I noticed to my delight (yes, I said delight), holiday cards for sale. It wasn’t a full blown display or too “holiday,” just a small rack at the back of the store near Seattle’s Best Coffee.

(No this isn’t an article ranting and raving about “It’s not even Halloween yet!”)

This is a lesson on planning.

The friend I met for coffee was irritated that there were holiday items in the store.  She said, “I never even think about the holidays until after Thanksgiving.  I mean, really, who has the time?”

I asked her how she felt about the holidays and her reaction was “Stressed.  I mean if it wasn’t for the kids, I wouldn’t be doing it.”

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this, but what the display illustrated to me was the grace of planning.

When we plan, we can be fully present in the moment, noticing the nuances of the day rather than rushing, no scrambling, to get the next thing knocked off our list.

What I hear most often is “If I plan, I lose my creativity” or “I do my best work under stress.”  Well, I’d like to ask “Have you tried it the other way?”

This year has been stressful enough for many.  Why put the burden of the holidays into that mix.

Picture this…you sit down now and figure out your budget for the holidays.  Be realistic.  If you only can spend $20 on a person.  So be it.  (that can make the shopping even more fun).

Start to look for those special gifts, cards, or recipes that fit into your budget.  Maybe you’ll stumble upon the book Uncle George has been talking about at a flea market – and it’s autographed.  Or maybe Shaw’s is having a sale on baking ingredients – pick up a few.

Think of the peace of mind you’ll have when the holidays are here and you are sitting back enjoying a mug of hot chocolate while it’s snowing outside.  At that moment, you’ve been able to give your loved ones the perfect gift…you.

Stand Still or Move Forward

Fall in New England

Last week a friend asked for advice on her business.  The summer was slow.  Now she was seriously strapped for cash.  Needless to say, panic mode had set in.  (BTW – she’s okay’d this story.)

Getting to the root of the problem
When I asked what she’d done to build her business, she listed all the books she’d read – without taking a breath.

“And…,” I said.

“Oh…well…I attended some free teleconferences, and gotta lot of good ideas from them.”

“And…,” I said again.

“Heavy sigh…I’ve also worked on my marketing plan for the fall.”  Now she was searching for the “right” answer.

Pushing her buttons a little more.
“And…”

“What do you mean ‘and,’ isn’t that enough?  I’ve run myself crazy doing everything I’m supposed to do and nothing’s working!”  (imagine high pitched voice with a little attitude)

“But what have you done?”

As you can imagine, that set her off the deep end.  About 10 minutes later she calmed down and I shared the following.

There’s action and then there’s ACTION. Today, a lot of programs say if you think it, it will happen.  Now I don’t deny everything starts with a thought, but there comes a time when you have to take 100% responsibility for the thought and put it into action.

Let’s say you want to get better at time management. Reading books, taking courses, buying a planner are all actions, but to get better at time management you have to use them!

It’s your turn to take 100% responsibility.
Take time this month to explore your dreams, goals, etc.  Ask yourself, “How can I take 100% responsibility for my goals?”  Then go out and do something.  Taking your first step might be uncomfortable, but by doing so you’ll be one step closer to your goals.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Join the discussion on Facebook today.

I Can’t!

Reading time

 

I was in the library last Saturday.  In the children’s room, parents and volunteers sat with kids helping them read. 

 

As the kids struggled to sound out words, I heard, “I can’t read that.”  With the encouragement of their parents, they eventually did.  

 

In another part of the room a couple of older girls were trying to read chapter books.  I overheard one sigh and say, ”I’ll never be able to read that.” She shut the book and put her chin in her hands.

 

One of the volunteers came over to the girls, and started to help them.  By the time I left the library, the two girls were slowly working their way through their books. 

 

Remember when you were learning to read or ride a bike.  Didn’t it seem like everyone but you thought you could do it?  And didn’t you?

 

Why is it then, as adults, when faced with something we think we can’t do, we tend to give up?  

 

We’ve forgotten how important it is to have people around us who totally believe in what we’re doing.  They remind us there’s no way we can fail.  

 

I challenge you this month, when you hear yourself say “I can’t” remember back to when you were learning to read.  Find someone who believes in what you are doing without a shadow of a doubt and ask for their help.  You will be amazed in the progress you make (and the less stress you have!)

Is Your Leash Caught?

Maisie resting on her leash

After learning to sit and stay, Maisie’s reward is usually a long walk and then time outside.  Her lead is about 100 feet so she has full run of the backyard.  Most day’s she’s in dog heaven.

 

The other day I heard her barking.  It wasn’t  “Look there’s a squirrel,” bark.  Instead it was “I’m in trouble.”  (You dog owners know what I mean.)

 

There she was in the middle of the yard anxiously wagging her tail.  I guess I’d come to the rescue, but I couldn’t tell from what.

 

I called her.  She tried to come, but appeared to be stuck.  On closer inspection, I found her leash wrapped around a small weed.  I called her again.  You would have thought she was tethered to an oak tree by the way she resisted.

 

This got me to wondering about limiting thoughts.  How many times have you really wanted something, and it never showed up.  Maybe it’s a job.  Maybe it’s a new customer.  Try as you might…nothing.

 

Take a look at your thoughts.  Are your thoughts limiting your potential?  Are those limiting thoughts the weeds that are holding you back?

 

Thoughts aren’t real.  They can create reality, like for Maisie.  But she wasn’t really stuck, she only thought she was.  How about you? 

This week’s assignment:  When you run into an obstacle ask yourself, is it a real obstacle or is it a limiting thought weed.

Sit. Staaay…

Sit. Staaay.

This week, I’ve been teaching Maisie to “sit and stay.”

She does ”sit and stay” well while I cook, but when the mailman comes it’s all over. 

 

We start by ”sitting and staying” before each walk.  I stand with the door open.  She sits there with her leash on.  I repeat, “Stay. Staaay.  No, Staaaaaay.”  She sits there shaking trying to avoid the natural temptation to run out into the sunshine.

 

As I watch Maisie struggle, I realize we too go through a similar pattern when we want to change habit.  We sit there and shake (internally or externally) deciding whether or not to “sit” with our new behavior or run back to old routines.  Since we don’t have anyone reminding us to “Staaaay” we give into the sunshine only to kick ourselves later.  

 

What we can learn from Maisie is that it’s natural to want to stick to our old routines, and hard to develop new ones.  When Maisie doesn’t “stay” though, she doesn’t kick herself.  Instead she ”sits” and tries again.

 

Choose Carefully

 

Last week I blogged about how WORDS can become SWORDS.  It’s important to remember not only that words affect others, but they also affect ourselves.   

On Saturday I was in the grocery store.  As the clerk scanned my bananas, she rotely said, “Hi….How are you?“ not even bothering to look up.   

“I’m fastastic!  Thanks for asking.  How about you?”  I replied.  Well, you’d thought I insulted her or something.  She stopped scanning, looked up and just glared at me.  What…what did I say? 

The point is, I choose to answer “fastastic!” because it reinforces not only how I’m feeling, but how I want to feel.  There are days I don’t start out feeling fantastic, but after a few of these interactions, I’m feeling pretty good. 

It can work the other way too.  If I choose the words “I can’t,” then I won’t.  When I lived in Seattle, I wanted to visit Hawaii.  First I said “I can’t” because I was working all the time.  Then I said “I can’t” because I was figuring out my life.  Finally I said “I can’t” because I was moving back to Boston.  Guess who still hasn’t been to Hawaii.   

This week’s assignment:  When someone asks you how you are, choose the best word you can to relfect an upbeat attitude.  Watch what happens.  Then record three examples of goals you did or didn’t achieve because of your words.    If you missed last week’s assignment, it is posted on Life Simplified   

 

 

The Simple Word.

 

I dare you not to think of the ocean.  Don’t think about the blue sky or the warmth of the sun on your face.  Don’t listen to sound of the waves crashing onto the sand or the seagulls calling to each other above your head.    What happened? 

 If you weren’t thinking about the ocean when you started this blog, I bet you are now.  That’s the power of words.  Words create images.  Those images can affect our reality.  

Did you hear the ocean?  Did you feel the warmth of the sun?  When we attach other senses to words, our brain cannot distinguish between what’s real and what’s not.  I was sitting in my office with snow flying outside when I wrote this.  That didn’t stop me from feeling the summer sun.  For that moment, my reality was standing on a beach not the winter wonderland outside my window.

Word by word you build your reality.  Word by word you affect other’s realities.  When my nephews say “I love you” or “I missed you” or even better “I’m glad you’re here,” my whole world changes.  If I was in a bad mood before that, those simple words can put me in the best mood.In Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.’s book Prescriptions for Living he talks about a picture his son, Stephen had done.  The only thing on the canvas was…

 

WORDSWORDSWORDSWORDS

Here’s a quote from the book:

“I hung the picture up and from time to time I look at it and think about the power of words and swords.  Both can be used to injure or to heal.  A scalpel can wound a vital organ or it can drain an abcess.  A cruel word can destroy a life, and a kind word can heal one.”

How are you using your words with yourself and others?

Last week you recorded your positive and negative thoughts.  Those thoughts are words either helping or hindering your goals.     This week’s assignment: Take 20 minutes and imagine what your life looks like when you achieve your goal.  Record the key words that trigger the image.  

What Do I Need To Do To Be Successful?

As you know I started Life Simplified in Seattle in 2007.  At that time I sat down and asked, ”what do I need to do to be successful?”  The answer was move back to Boston.  So it did.  It was the best decision I could have made.

In February of 2008, again I asked “what do I need to do to be successful?”  This time the answer was to help someone every day and to learn something new every day.  By doing these, my personal life and business have grown exponentially.    

“What do I need to do to be successful?” is powerful question.  It moves you from thinking to doing, and opens the door to creative opportunities.  

To maintain a positive focus toward my goals, I use several tools.  I’ve been using these tools for over 10 years.  At first it was uncomfortable incorporating them into my daily routine, but now it’s uncomfortable to have a day without them.

A Daily Journal – Based on The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, I write in my journal every morning when my mind is fresh.  I use it to vent, explore and discover.  I highly recommend this activity for everyone.  

A Gratitude Journal - This is from Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach.  Creating a gratitude list everyday creates awareness to the abundance in your life.   

A Goal/Dream Journal – I love this journal because this is where I dream.  I write my goals out in detail creating a picture in my mind that I go back to often.

So what do you need to do to be successful?  To support your journey to success, I will be sending out weekly activities in the Life Simplified newsletter.  To receive it sign up here.  There will also be tools and resources added weekly to the Life Simplified website.

If you don’t know where to start, go to the website and complete the Week One Assignment.  This will open your eyes to what you are saying to yourself about your goals. 

I’d love to hear what tools you use to maintain positive momentum toward your goals.  Let me know.

Happy Optimistic New Year

December was a month of internal reflection.  A year ago, Christmas Eve, my mother passed away.  After Thanksgiving, I realized, my priority needed to be the care of myself, my family and my friends.  I put everything else aside.   

Over the last five weeks, I experienced healing, transforming love.  When I awoke this New Year’s morning, I felt the beginning of a new life.  The fog had lifted and my heart was full. 

This renewed focus has affected my personal and professional goals for 2009.  So many people have said “I hope 2009 is better than 2008.”  Hoping is nice, but doing will make it happen.

In 2009, I’ve committed myself to optimism and love.  If we attract what we believe, I choose optimism and love over fear, doubt and worry. 

My first step is monitoring my negative thoughts.  Even though I know negative thoughts are toxic, I admit I often listen. These voices wear me out and tear me down.  Ultimately they keep me from reaching my potential.  This year, I choose to hear only the positive self affirming thoughts and will forgive myself when I listen to the opposite.

Next, I plan to use Life Simplified as a forum to share other’s optimism.  I’ll do this through the newsletter, Friday Inspiration, planned speaking engagements, and scheduled continuing education classes. 

My new Simply Success Groups offer the opportunity to share optimism face to face. I believe there is nothing more contagious than positive energy shared between people.  Put 7 people in a room with this contagious energy and watch amazing things happen.

Let me know what you are optimistic about in 2009.  I can’t wait to hear what you have to say.

You can sign up for the Life Simplified Newsletter or updates here.   Talk to you soon.